When the Math Stops Working

This wasn’t a decision I came to quickly, and it definitely wasn’t one I wanted to make.

I’m taking a leave of absence from school.

I went back and forth on how to talk about this because there’s a tendency to soften decisions like this or frame them as something more inspirational than they actually are. The truth is simpler and less polished. At a certain point, the math stopped working.

Tuition reimbursement helps, but it barely makes a dent once you account for the full cost of being enrolled. Fees, books, and the way coursework quietly takes over your evenings and weekends. Scholarships exist, but as an adult learner, they’re harder to access than most people realize. Many are geared toward first-time students or very specific circumstances. If you’re working full time, supporting yourself, and trying to avoid debt, the options narrow quickly.

I spent a long time trying to make it fit anyway. Rearranging budgets. Recalculating timelines. Convincing myself it would feel more manageable next term. Eventually, I had to be honest with myself. Pushing forward just to say I did wasn’t sustainable. Not financially, and not mentally either.

Taking a leave of absence doesn’t mean I’m done learning or that my goals have changed. It means I’m choosing to be more intentional about how I learn right now. There are other ways to keep growing that don’t come with the same financial and emotional weight. Reading, professional development, certifications, conversations, hands-on experience. Learning doesn’t only happen inside a classroom or behind a tuition bill.

For this season, I need space to stabilize and recalibrate without feeling like I’m constantly chasing the next deadline or payment. I want to come back to formal education when I can actually engage with it fully, instead of spending most of my energy managing the cost of staying enrolled.

We don’t talk enough about how complicated this can be for adult learners. Going back to school later in life comes with real tradeoffs, and sometimes the most responsible decision is to pause instead of pretending those tradeoffs don’t exist.

This is a pause, not an ending. I’m still learning. I’m still moving forward. I’m just choosing a path that makes sense right now.